Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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