yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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