some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
