Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Randomize
