They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
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he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
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