I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
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