Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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