Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize