it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
These 23 Kids Have The Most Overbearing Parents Imaginable
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off