You're a womanizer and a bitch.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.