Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.