I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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