You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
