i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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