Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all