Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.