Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just made my gag reflex go away.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize