shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
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