At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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