I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
now i know why i became what i already was.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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