Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
