My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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