Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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