Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I think weed is turning my hair brown
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize