just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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