Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
only if we run a train.
done.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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