It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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