There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS