...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect