I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
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ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
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Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
My dad just said "fuck circus"
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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