you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
