You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
