Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize