ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
