I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
