took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
please don't ironically join a cult
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