I want to have your abortion
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
