Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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