Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
