So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
