mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
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