dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
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