There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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