I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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