I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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