Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Randomize
