you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
