Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Randomize
