i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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