tell your sister to shave her snatch
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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