pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Randomize
