dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Randomize
