Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
