Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
If I die, sorry about rent.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
