Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
