Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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