the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize