Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
