if i can run in heels then i can drive
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
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