She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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