You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize