Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
