There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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