just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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