I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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