Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
this will be a night to untag.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
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