I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
