I don't remember. Are we still dating?
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
