I wish I could punch you in the face.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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