I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
