ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
