it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
