So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize
